I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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