After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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