Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
