I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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