let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
