I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
