You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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