Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
