SEEEEXXX PLEASE
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
