That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize