I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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