he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
