and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
