i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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