I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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