hotel room ftw
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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