it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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