I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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