He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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