Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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