Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
