you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
