Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
