Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
