Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Randomize
