u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
