my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
