yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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