Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
