yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
