Screwed.edu
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
