can we get nightvision for the apartment?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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