I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
