This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
