i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
