Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i was born a porn star she said
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
