Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
