You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
