I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
