her vagine was all disorganized.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
