You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
