Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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