is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize