We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
