If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
birth control should be required to get into college
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
