i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
