Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
