just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
