did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
