Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
