dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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