all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
