omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
