i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
