worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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