His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
