I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
