If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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