i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
