can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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