Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
actually, I'm a sock model
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
