i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
NoShamevember. You game?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Randomize
