just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
